2020-2021 has not been fun. It has been a year of disappointments, a year of frustrations, a year of hopelessness. Everyone confronted uncertainty every day. Many lost their lives and loved ones. Many hearts were wounded, separated, and sometimes much worse.

It has not been pleasant for healthcare workers either. As Emergency Room nurses we witnessed a lot of tragic events. At times we saw helplessness in us and everyone around. We saw people being separated or taken away from their loved ones.

In chaos we found comfort; comfort in each other. We leaned on each other. We vented, we cried, we expressed our anger and our frustration as we kept going. There was no time to stop, no time to think, and no time to recuperate. Every day we walked into a race and came out as champs. We acknowledged each other, encouraged each other, supported each other. Proudly do I acknowledge, I would not have survived this pandemic, if it wasn’t for my co-workers.

Uncertainty followed us into our homes. Not being sure of what we brought home; we were forced to stay away from our families. Most of the times we hugged our loved ones from afar. We went on for hours without food or drink. The scars left on our skins by the PPE may heal, but those left in our hearts will remain a lifetime.

We bore the accusations of not attending to one with a chronic back pain because there was someone who was fighting to breathe. We had to delay administering the pain medication because a grandpa was taking his final breath. It didn’t hurt of being called lazy, for not giving a cup of ice or blanket because we had to take care of someone who was battling for his life. We were criticized for laughing in the middle of a busy shift as we were trying to ease the pain within each other. We did not mind being called selfish, we needed that extra two minutes to put on our PPE, not only to protect us but everyone else too.

The PPE slowed us, wore us down but we still tried to run into every patient’s room. Nothing stopped us, neither the accusations, nor the criticisms and most certainly not the belittling words from the ones we took care of. Yet we still came back everyday and continued to save lives.

The pandemic has changed my perception. I am not to take things for granted. Until I could not hug my kids, it was a choice, now it’s a privilege. Until I could not sleep in my house, it was my choice, now it’s a privilege. Until I was not allowed to step out, it was a choice, now it’s a privilege. Until the doors of my church closed, attending Mass was a routine, now it’s a privilege.

This year has taught me to be grateful for what I have. Everything is a privilege and not a right, it does not come as a package!!!

I am a proud nurse, always have been. Now I am even more proud as an Emergency Room nurse who is still at warfront. I am part of history just like millions of other health care workers. In future I will have eye opening stories to share from world pandemic for coming generation.