Change is constant. It might take a long time for us to accept this ironic fact but we all know it at some level. Things have changed in the past, they change in the present, and they’ll continue changing in the future. Often, we think we know what will change even if we don’t dare to say we know exactly how it’ll change. Some things have deterministic changes: no one can physically stay 20 years old forever, writings in the sand will always be washed away by the sea or the wind, sadness never lasts. These are changes you know and expect.

Some changes bring with them an element of surprise; you didn’t know they would happen. In some dark corner of your mind, the fact that change is constant has a deadly duel with your hope that some things will never change. Perhaps, some things will never change: the taste of your father’s infamous pepper chicken, the warm hugs from your best friend when you meet her six months later, your siblings’ intolerable teasing when you pronounce a word wrong.

As you grow older, change becomes inevitable. Of course, the very fact that you’re aging implies change at some fundamental level. Is change a function of time then? If time did not exist, would we remain the same without ever changing? Would such a life be desirable? Sometimes, you wish that time would stop in that moment of utter happiness when you watch the sunset at the beach, when you slump into bed after a long day, or perhaps when you fall in love, platonic or romantic. I wonder, then: does that feeling of happiness remain if that moment in time was paused eternally? That’s the hope, you might say. Why would you leave the peaceful arms of happiness to plunge into darkness? You would rather be stuck in time in that moment of joy than undertake an unpredictable journey where you can’t tell when you’ll be happy again. It doesn’t really matter what we want, though; life happens anyway.

People think happiness is something that must be found, while sadness is something that happens to you. Only one can be true, though; after all, happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin. They may be different in how they manifest, but they are forged from the same metal. Then, is change something that happens to you or something that must be found? Perhaps, it is both. Some changes may need to be sought, while others keep changing, regardless of whether one wishes for it or not. In that sense, change can be deceiving in that you never know how it will happen. Some may argue that it is honest in that you know it will always be present. They may question the necessity of knowing how change happens. Do the means matter when the end is inevitable?

Change can be scary. Some may mock the fear when change is bound to happen. Others may feel small and insignificant. Yet others may feel silly. All of these feelings are valid in the face of change. You cannot run away from them; feelings about change are just as inescapable as change itself. Resisting change and the feelings that come with it is as fruitless as pushing a boulder up a hill with your bare hands. The easiest thing to do is to let those feelings wash over you, especially when you face tremendous change.
You may just breathe more easily for it.

Author:  Rhea Anu Thomson